My life has changed so much over the past 25 years I’ve lived with indolent systemic mastocytosis (SM). Not for the better, either. The disease has left me with not only many physical ailments, but also mental health challenges.
2017 was the starting point for my mental health struggle. During this time, I hurt my back and could no longer work, and my children left home. Then COVID hit. All these circumstances together affected my life immensely.
Watching life from the sidelines
For the most part, I am now living my life in isolation. Disconnected with people. With that comes heavy burdens. I feel like there is an invisible weight that is dragging me down. Holding me back from doing the things that I love. It takes up my motivation and my desire to go anywhere or do anything.
This is the time of year when I’m least able to be physically active, too. My swimming pool is shut down. It’s still too hot for me to enjoy a walk outside here in Louisiana. I wake up in pain and go to bed in pain. That toll is hard to carry, even without being weighted down with anxiety and depression.
Social media does not help, either. I read somewhere that there are two things that keep you from finding happiness in your life. One is living in the past, and the other is watching other people. I do live in the past: I miss the days when my house was full of kids and I felt better. Social media makes it worse. On social media I watch other people living their best life, surrounded by their children and grandchildren.
Learning about dopamine hits
I was listening to a podcast yesterday that talked about “dopamine hits” and how social media has changed our pleasurable reward experience.
The podcast explained that a “dopamine hit” refers to the surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter, released in the brain in response to a pleasurable or rewarding experience. We get a feeling of satisfaction and motivation, which encourages us to seek out another “hit” repeatedly.
In the past, before social media and smart phones, we got our dopamine release from challenging work, a goal that needed effort, checking off a to-do list by hand or even just going outside and watching the stars. Now that we are all on our phones or tablets all the time, the rewards are too easy to achieve. The podcast noted that even a text message, a notification on your phone or the games you play can trigger a dopamine hit.
After too many easy rewards, eventually your brain may not produce enough dopamine from more challenging tasks. You will look for more of the satisfaction you get while doing the easy things.
This is all too much for anyone’s mental health. Not just those living with a rare disease.
Trying a reset
The podcast inspired me to make some changes. I don’t want a quick easy dopamine release. I want the kind I used to have to work hard for.
During the day, I am going to get back to the old way of life. I am now making it a point to avoid my phone first thing in the morning. I will also distribute time to scroll social media. I don’t play games, but I love watching movies on all the different streaming platforms. There will be a set time for that, as well.
I am going to quit ordering my groceries and having them delivered. Too easy. I will make a conscious effort to leave the house and walk into the store.
I will read more like I used to. I love to read, but I don’t seem to much anymore — unless it’s a newly released Dan Brown book. I waited over seven years for his last book to hit the shelves. I got it the day it was released and read the whole thing as fast as possible. (I could write for days about all his books and him being my favorite author, but that would be a whole different article. Sorry. I digress.)
Try it with me. Let’s all take the time and effort to reset. Do some of the things we did before all the apps on our phones made life so easy that we isolated ourselves from people. You may not even realize you are on that route, or that you are already there. Take some time to think about how you are living your life right now.
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